Old Friend
by RedTailedHawkens
Summary: After everything that has happened, what Jack needs more than anything is someone to talk to. Who better than his oldest, most loyal friend?


Old Friend

Okay, so, this is my first Revenge Fanfiction. I have been watching the show for a while, but I just never felt I had a real handle on the characters, and I couldn't write about them inaccurately.

This is a one-shot. Spoliers for Season Two Finale.

The Finale left us with so many questions, and I got this idea because, really, with Declan dead and Nolan in jail, who could Jack turn to to help him deal with, well, everything?

Enjoy.

Jack sat down on the grass. There wasn't much; mostly, it was patches of dirt. It was cold, but that made sense, considering the time of year. He was just grateful it hadn't started to snow yet, not that snow would keep him away.

He looked at the ground, wishing they had marked the spot better. He remembered of course. He remembered everything about that night, for many reasons. One of those reasons had brought him here today.

"Hey buddy." Jack started awkwardly. He had never really done this before. He had wanted to, but it had always seemed too morbid. Not now though. Now, he needed his friend, "A lot's happened since I last talked to you. A whole lot. Stuff you wouldn't believe. And then, some stuff you probably would." Jack sighed, "I miss you so much. I really do. I'm sorry I don't come down here more often. I guess I was scared. But I need you to know that I miss you. All the time, and especially now." Jack chuckled awkwardly, "You were always such a good listener, and the best, most constant friend I ever had. I really need that right now."

He stared at the patch of dirt, trying to picture what lay beneath it. He tried not to think that the body had decomposed, tried to think that he looked the same as the night they buried him, "I know what you were trying to tell me. All those night, going to her house, bringing her around. You were like a pup again when she was around. But then, maybe it wasn't about me at all. Maybe you weren't trying to send me a message, to help me see what you saw, what you knew. Maybe it was just a dog loving a girl more than he had ever loved anybody. Maybe that's why you lived so long. You had to wait for her to come back before you left this world."

Jack sighed, staring at the patch of dirt. It was such a cold and empty surface. There was no life there. "I wish I could pet your fur right now, or scratch behind your ears. That always helped when we talked." He smiled slightly, and he pictured Sammy smiling back, the way only Sammy could. He felt a tear fall down his cheek; he had lost so much. "Dec's gone. He's with you now. I don't know how much dogs understand about death, although, being gone yourself, you probably get it better than me." He tried to chuckle, but all he could muster was a vague smirk, "And I'm a father. We didn't call him Sammy; I hope you don't mind. His name's Carl, after dad. And the girl I had her with, the girl I thought was … you might remember her. You didn't like her much at first, but she grew on you once she learned how to play the stick game." Jack smiled, remembering, but then the heartache returned. He took a deep gulp, "She's gone too. Saved my life actually. I wouldn't be here talking to you if she hadn't sacrificed herself for me. I want to be grateful. I really do. But honestly, I just wished she would have lived. She didn't deserve…" he sighed, "I know she was lying to me, that she wasn't who I thought she was, but I still love her. She's still the mother of my son, and if nothing else, I will always, always love her for that. And she was a good person, fun, and funny, and caring. She really loved me. Even if she wasn't really, well, wasn't who I thought she was."

He paused again, wishing he could see Sammy respond somehow, with a look or a noise, but it was just a patch of dirt, "Nolan was arrested. He's innocent, but they have a lot on him. I haven't gotten to see him yet. I've tried, but they're not letting him have visitors. It's probably for the best though. If I went in there, I would try and be the good friend and comfort him, but pretty soon, he would be comforting me. Somehow, it would come around to Em- to Amanda. Because I know now, who she is. I know what you knew from the start. I still can't believe I never saw it. She says I did, that on some level I always knew. And maybe she was right. Maybe I did, on some level, but how could I not … we haven't talked about the details. I have so many questions, and she promised to answer them, but I was just so … so in shock when she told me. I'm still wrapping my head around it. As much as I need answers, what I need more is to process. I told her I need time. She just nodded understandingly, saying she's be around when I was ready to talk."

He sighed again, "I don't know what to do Sam. God, I wish you were here right now. I need you so much. I am so confused. I can't figure out if I'm angry at her for lying, if I blame her for everything that's happened, I can't figure out if I'm happy that it's her, happy to have my friend back, grateful that she finally told me, bitter that she didn't tell me sooner. I had such strong feelings for her as Emily, but I pushed them aside when I found out I was going to be a father. Because I had to. And I loved my wife; I loved the mother of my child. I always will, but there was always a part of me deep down that still wanted to be with Emily. And now I find out that she's really the girl I was waiting for all those years, my first crush, the girl I always imagined I'd end up with. I just … I just don't know what to do, what to think, what to feel." Jack patted the ground, trying to imagine fur between his fingers, "Thanks for listening, even now."

He smiled at the patch of dirt, and then got to his feet, "I have to get going. I wanted to go visit Charlotte, talk about Dec, give her some of Aman- my wife's old books and things from when she was carrying Carl. Oh, yeah, that's another thing. Declan got charlotte pregnant. And she's going to need a lot of support. I want to be there for her, he'd want me too. Plus, she's the only one who can really relate to what I'm going through; she's the only other person around who loved him. It does mean I have to brave the Grayson castle, which I definitely am not looking forward to. But, hey, you know, maybe I'll run into Daniel's fiancé. They're engaged, again. Still, engaged isn't married. A lot can happen on the way down the aisle."

Regardless of everything else, Jack knew that he still cared for Emily; that he did not want her to marry Daniel. She once told him that she would explain to him why she was with Daniel, and that time was approaching. Talking things out with Sammy had been good. It had helped him to vent, and to clear his head. He was ready now, to have that long, complicated, awkward conversation with her. Who knew where it might lead?

"I promise I'll be back again. Goodnight Sam. Sweet dreams."

As he headed back to The Stowaway to get the stuff for Charlotte, he knew he had made the right decision in going to talk to Sammy. Sometimes, no matter how confused you are, no matter how screwed up your life, all you really need is to talk to an old friend.


End file.
